The Community of Family

June 23, 2011 in Community with 0 Comments

Whether you like it or not, you are in community with your family. You may not all live together, but you are connected. You can run as far as you want, but they are still your family. Families are made up of regular people. People are prone to conflict. Just because you are blood related doesn’t mean you are going to agree about everything. And because they are family, you can’t really get away from it. If you don’t like a church for one reason or another, you can go find another one. If someone in your small group really pisses you off, you can stop going or find a new one. But you can’t really quit a family and join a new one. They will always be your mom, dad, brother, or sister. You can’t even get rid of that crazy uncle, legally anyway.

I know family community can be hard, but it takes work. For example, my sister and I do not see eye to eye on a lot of spiritual matters. These things run deep in our core of who we are and our purpose on this planet. But we have worked to put those things to the side when it comes to our connection in family. I believe that we would do anything for each other that does not compromise our spiritual principles. I love my sister dearly and I hope for resolution to our disagreements one day, but I fear that won’t happen this side of heaven. But in the present, we recognize our connection as siblings and we honor that.

Conflict resolution is hard. Extending grace and forgiveness is hard. But if we really want to be like Jesus, then we better get over it and get with the program. I won’t promise that you can make your family conflict free, but you can make a difference if you choose to work at it. If you would just talk to your family about what bothers you. Be honest, but be gentle. You aren’t the only one who can turn and run. You are only responsible for your participation. You can’t control others. When dealing with conflict you are probably going to cut someone. I have heard it said to use a scalpel, not a meat kleaver. Work at the relationships. Just like a romantic relationship, it is a two way street. There is give and take on both sides. It is the same within the family. If you are a parent, then you learn how much more you can give each time a child is added to the family. And it seems that all they do is take. Eventually they will contribute if you help them to. If you work on that relationship and invest in it, you will reap benefits.

Its your choice to work on community or just let it happen around you. What are you going to choose.

 

Apps

June 22, 2011 in Uncategorized with 1 Comment

I saw this on Joseph Dulaney’s blog today, but I wanted to repost this video because it is that funny. Also, how did they know that February 21st is my birthday.

Family Discipleship

June 22, 2011 in Discipleship with 0 Comments

Today I want to talk about family discipleship. If you have children, then you have been given responsibility of not only their physical lives, but also their spiritual lives. I am tired of people expecting the church to teach their kids everything they need to know about following Jesus. I think it is great that the church is there to help, but it is not the church’s responsibility. It is yours.

I drop my kids off at the kid area at church every week and they have fun and learn stuff, but when it comes to them asking questions of the spiritual nature, who do you think they will turn to? Me of course. And maybe they aren’t asking me questions, but they see me all the time. They know my behavior. They know me better than my friends because they are always watching me. They are learning from me whether I am intentional about it or not.

I have chosen to take an intentional approach with them so that I can see what they are learning. This also opens the door for them to ask me questions about spiritual matters. I know my kids better than the church does, so I am going to know the best way to teach them about God and life. I don’t sit down every night and read the Bible and make them memorize scripture. Right now they are just toddlers, so I tell them stories and I talk to them. I am building a relationship in the best way I know how right now so that later they will see me as someone they can talk to.

I also plan on taking advantage of the resources offered by the church. If they don’t want to talk to me about something, I hope that they have someone else in their life like a youth pastor who they can talk to. I want to provide the best opportunities I can for my kids to get to know Jesus.

Have you ever thought about how you are discipling your kids? Are you doing it intentionally or unintentionally?

 

Leading Your Family

June 21, 2011 in Leadership with 0 Comments

Families need leadership. We think about leadership in terms of our careers, churches, and governments, but we easily let things with our family slide. The people in our family should be the most important people in our lives, so why do we forget to lead them while we are leading everything else?

I want you to look at the family unit like a business for a second. The family has income and expenses and exists for a purpose. Purpose can vary, but there are still people, events, and a lifestyle to manage. If nobody takes ownership and leads the family, then everyone begins leading themselves, and they split up into different directions. Ever hear of irreconciable differences? Everyone in a family can have a job. There are finances to be managed, chores, cooking, parenting, education, and just plain being in relationships with each other. And you can’t fire people from family, you can only promote them.

Leading your family does not mean doing everything so that everyone else can do whatever they want. As a family leader, you are responsible for helping the rest of the clan find where they can help out. As your kids get bigger, they need to learn about ownership and responsiblility. You want them to grow up and move out eventually right? If you don’t teach them how to take care of themselves, you will be doing that for the rest of your life.

A family without leadership will perish.

 

Writing About Family All Week

June 20, 2011 in Community with 0 Comments

This week I will be taking an extended period of time to spend with my family, so I don’t want to be writing blog posts while I should be having fun with my kids. Lucky for you, I wrote all of this week’s posts last week. So you won’t miss out on anything this week. In honor of the time I am going to spend with the family this week, I decided to work on a series of posts about family and how it relates to our walk with Jesus.

I am a big fan of family. I am married with 2 kids ages 6 and 4. I have always had great times with my family growing up and I want the same thing for my kids. So we make it a priority to spend time together and hopefully create some fun memories along the way. Over the years I have learned that if I want to have a strong and healthy family relationship, it takes some work. It takes a lot more than good intentions to create a healthy family environment.

So for the rest of the week I am going to write about family leadership, family discipleship, and the community of a family. These topics may feel a bit churchy, but for good reason. I am a firm believer that my family is the first church body that I am responsible to. I am looking forward to sharing my thoughts about family with you this week and hopefully hear some of yours.

I will be on vacation, but I will be plugged in and responding to comments.

 

How To Be An Authentic Leader

June 17, 2011 in Leadership with 2 Comments

One quality that I believe is crucial to the success of a leader is authenticity. You can be a leader in title, but an authentic leader needs no title. My brother just returned from Scotland where he visited the William Wallace monument. It got me thinking about the movie ‘Braveheart’ and how Wallace was not a leader in title or priviledge, but he was the leader that Scotland followed. He was authentic. He fought with something inside of him that made others ready to die for Scotland

The authentic leader has followers. If you are leading, but nobody is following you, then there is a problem. It could be an authenticity issue. Have you ever watched one of those TV preacher guys that is all dressed up and he demonstrates these amazing things and promises you can be blessed in 3 easy payments of $19.95? Ok, maybe it isn’t that blatant. But have you ever gotten the feeling that there is just something fake about this dude? What about politicians? Personally, I don’t believe a word that comes out of their mouths. How many promises are they making to every different group of people? You know they can’t fulfill them all. They can’t promise to vote 2 different ways on the same issue and make everyone happy.

To be an authentic leader you must live out the following principles.

Be true to your word
 Liars eventually get caught. Liars cannot be trusted. I don’t know anyone who wants to follow a liar. Eventually they will hurt you too.

Walk the walk
A lot of leaders talk a big game, but they don’t always take action. If you keep letting your fears destroy you action steps, you won’t go anywhere. Nobody wants to follow someone who isn’t moving.

Don’t hide your flaws
Good leaders are forthcoming with their weaknesses. If they are hiding their flaws then people following them really don’t know who they are and eventually things will become evident. This only creates distrtust.

Be humble
Leaders who glorify themselves eventually place themselves so high on a pedestal, they can’t hear or see anyone. Followers will sense the distance and move onto someone else.

Being an authentic leader means being real with the people who follow you. You can’t lead if you are distant and untouchable. You can’t lead if you are faking it. Because when it comes down to testing the validity of a leader, a faker will crumble. The authentic leader will prove resilient and strong. Leading without authenticity will eventually break you.

Keep it real leaders.

Who Is The Churchpunk Community?

June 16, 2011 in Community with 10 Comments

I am a very relational person. I love getting to know new people. I know there are people who read this blog on a regular basis. A couple of you comment from time to time, but I want to get to know the lurkers. I want to know more about this community. So here is what I want you to do.

If you visit here regularly or are subscribed in some way, I want you to leave a comment and tell us all why you keep coming back to this blog. I also give you permission to pimp yourself out and share your blog links if you write on one. I want to follow you all back and get to know you more through the tools of social media. And if you have a favorite post on Churchpunk, please share it. This will help me to learn more about why you are here and what you like me to write about. This blog is for you after all.

To recap, here is what I would like you to do.

  1. Leave a comment.
  2. Tell us why you visit this blog.
  3. Tell us your favorite blog post if you have one.
  4. Pimp your own blog for all to read.

If the only people who comment are my mom and my wife, I will assume that none of you read blogs on Thursdays. Its never too late to leave a comment here even if you missed it by days or weeks. So give a shout out and I hope to get to know you all better and keep bringing you the content value that you deserve.

It’s Hard to Love Your Neighbor

June 15, 2011 in Community with 0 Comments

Faith was telling me the other day about how lately she has a high intolerance for stupid people. This is understandable because she is working full-time and going to school full-time while I hold down the fort at home. She is lucky when she gets 6 hours of sleep in a day. I know that when I am tired, the little annoying things that people do don’t seem so little.

I have to confess that I am judgemental. I can usually handle crossing paths with 1 or 2 stupid people incidents in a day, but sometimes I feel like I am a magnet for people doing stupid stuff. Here are a few examples:

  • The person who drives 10 below the speed limit when talking on a cell phone.
  • The person who always makes a left at the red light exiting my subdivision.
  • The person who tailgates me on the highway and then once they are past me, they slow down.
  • The person who thinks that a two lane drive thru gives them the right to block traffic all the way out to the street.

I know that I am supposed to love all people, but sometimes it is really hard for me. I don’t even really know these people. They may not be stupid all of the time. I have caught temporary stupid disease before. God only knows what kind of day they have been having. And here I am ready to bite their head off because they cost me a few minutes.

So next time you think about flippin the bird, ask yourself how many stupid people that person had to deal with before they ran into you today.

 

Getting Gazelle Intensity

June 14, 2011 in Personal Development with 2 Comments

Faith and I have finally signed up for Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University. We have been on and off of the total money makeover plan for the last 4 years. We have lacked the gazelle intensity. It also doesn’t help when we lost an income about a year ago. We have been adjusting over the last year and we decided it was time to get back on track.

We have never signed up for the course because Faith’s work schedule could never guarantee that she would make all the classes. So now we have decided that doesn’t matter because we probably will never take the course if we wait for our schedules to work out. We are finally ready to get gazelle intense. I don’t recommend waiting 4 years to get gazelle intense. You should try that from the start. We have made progress on our debt reduction, but the snowball has been really slow for the last year. I hope that the FPU class will help us to really get going with this.

The gazelle intensity that I am talking about comes from Proverbs 6:4–5, which says,

“Give no sleep to your eyes, nor slumber to your eyelids. Deliver yourself like a gazelle from the hand of the hunter, and like a bird from the hand of the fowler.”

I am getting anxious just thinking about it. I know that there will be things that I don’t want to do. Sacrifices will be made that I don’t want to make. But I am determined to break free this time and not slow down. I have been really thinking about this gazelle intensity and this verse in Proverbs for the last few days. I have realized how beneficial this is for me to run screaming from my debt. But I have also thought about how I can apply this to other areas of my life where I need to break free. I have asked myself questions like this:

  • Am I gazelle intense about losing weight?
  • Am I gazelle intense about following Jesus?
  • Am I gazelle intense about my responsibilities?
  • Am I gazelle intense about loving my wife and my children?
  • Am I gazelle intense about my dream?

This feels like a lot to me and I don’t plan on trying to knock out everything at one time, but these couple of verses are really sticking with me now. And I plan on trying to apply that concept to much of what I do.

Are you gazelle intense about anything?

When Following Jesus Becomes Routine

June 13, 2011 in Discipleship with 0 Comments

By nature, I am a problem solver. When presented with a problem or challenge, I begin planning a system or course of action for resolution. When presented with the challenge of following Jesus, I tried to build a system around it to help me. I learned how other people followed Jesus with their times of prayer and Bible study. I attended small groups because it seemed to work for other people. I attend church services every week and take notes about the things that I am learning. I took all that I had learned and tried to put a system together that would work for me. After 14 years of following Jesus, I have learned that I can’t build a system around following Jesus that will take into account any situation I may encounter.

Now this is just my personal experience. I know a lot of people who use the same routine to follow Jesus the same way for many years and they are learning and growing closer to him more each day. So I don’t intend to break up your routine if it is working for you now. I just want to share what I have learned about how it seems to work for me.

I have tried getting up early to pray. Its cool, but I suck at being fully present anytime before 8 AM. I have done daily quiet times where I pray and read scripture. Sometimes it was cool and sometimes I found it boring. I have read the Bible through in a year. I finished it, but most of the time I was only trying to complete the task instead of really soaking up God’s word. These are just a few examples of the many things I have tried.

Whenever I tried to make following Jesus a part of my schedule or routine, it always became something where my heart wasn’t totally in it. It’s like brushing my teeth. I don’t really think about what I am doing, I just do it. Its like when you are driving home from work the same way you do everyday and your mind is elsewhere. You realize that you don’t remember if you stopped at that light back there or not. When it becomes routine, my brain takes over and my heart is somewhere else.

I spent the first 18 years of my life following Jesus with my brain. In one weeks time, I learned how to follow him with my heart. And since then I am still learning to follow him with my heart.

Do you have a routine to follow Jesus that works, or do you find that changing things up works better?

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