VCC started the Free series this week joining like 50 other churches in the area for the same 6 week journaling and small group experience. I haven't even met with my small group yet to start digging into it all, but I already find myself examining my life and praying about the areas of my life where I feel trapped. It has been a heavy thinking week for me as far as spiritual matters. I am reading 'In A Pit With A Lion on a Snowy Day' by Mark Batterson and I am devouring it. I am wondering what lions I should be chasing right now. Fear has been a common topic in my head. I am realizing that there are fears that I have allowed to creep into my life that are holding me back. The hard part is unlearning those fears. I feel that exhilarating times with God are coming soon. I am looking for a movement or a revival that could be personal or bigger than that. I have no clue as to what is coming or how I play a part in it, but I want to be ready when it comes. Are you ready to be free?
Archive - February, 2010
Book Review – Where Is God – Dr. John Townsend
I wanted to read ‘Where Is God’ by Dr. John Townsend because I have asked that question on more than one occasion in my life. This book addresses that question from many different perspectives. I often find myself asking that question when tragedies happen personally or even around the world. I am not questioning God’s existence so much as I am looking for how God is working in the current situation. But sometimes we are tempted to question God’s power and existence when we encounter difficult situations and blame him for what we feel is unfair.
This book was a slow read for me because it gave me a lot to think about. I often found myself backtracking a little to re-read something in order to make sure that I fully understood what I was reading. I found that I did not relate to all of the chapters in the book because I have not found myself in many of the situations that are discussed. As I began to read the book, I remember wondering if the book was going to convict me for asking where God is, but I quickly learned that it is not bad to ask that question. In fact, in many situations we should be asking that question in such a way that we would be seeking Him in our times of need. I struggle with my desire to be very independent. I don’t like to ask for help or directions if I think I can figure it out and can often spend a lot of energy and frustration before I give in and ask for help. But I learned that God wants me to ask for His help when I need it and He wants to help me.
I found myself very interested in chapter 10, ‘The God Who Connects You With Others.’ As a small group leader for adults and high school students, I get amped up about connecting with people in community. This chapter taught me more about how we need our little circles of community when we go through tough times. I also learned how God will send the right people into your life at the right time to help in your time of need. And taking it one step further, God will use your experience in past situations to help others who are in need.
I can see this book as one that I will hold onto knowing that I will probably reference it later for myself or for someone else that I know. It also may be one of those books that I keep giving away to people who need it. I feel it will be a good reference when I find myself asking such questions in difficult times.
You can find more information about the book at Thomas Nelson Publishing by clicking here.
Confessions of a Churchpunk
My perspective of God and His Kingdom has been slowly changing for a while. It is changing back to something familiar, but something that I seemed to have lost track of a while ago.
Somewhere along my journey, I started living for me again instead of living for God. I started thinking about my mission instead of God’s mission. I forgot that I am a servant to the Kingdom and not a King. My own ideas may be good, but they are not God’s so they will always fall short of what He has planned for me. I have been wasting my time on myself instead of paying attention to how I can better serve God’s Kingdom right where I am at. Instead of wondering or worrying about what is next, I should be looking at what is happening today. Do I really believe that God would put me in a job that did not serve some kind of purpose? I have been selfish in thinking that it somehow has to serve me. Maybe I am here now to serve someone else. I have totally not been attentive to any of that. How many people or opportunities have I missed to serve the Kingdom because I have been blind to my own selfish desires?
To modify a quote from Chris Farley in Tommy Boy – I SUCK as a Christian!
I have a feeling that I will continue to have to fight these feelings of rebelliousness and need for independence. But I consider it a small victory having identified this as an issue. I am so glad that I have Jesus because there is no way I could ever do this on my own.
Are you living for God today, or for yourself?
Friday Weigh In Week #8
Current Weight – 276.4 lbs.
Previous Weight – 277 lbs.
Total Loss – .6 lbs.
Back on the loss side this week but not great. Actually I was worried that I was going to gain again because I did not do very well with my workouts. Some things are getting easier and others harder. My biggest struggle right now is controlling what I eat at times. Sometimes I feel like I am never full, but I know I have to stop eating and it can be difficult sometimes. It was definitely a lot easier when I was 16. Turning 31 on Sunday.
Spring Come Quickly
Today, pitchers and catchers reported. There is a couple of feet of snow on the ground outside. I am tired of shoveling the stuff into the already massive piles on the sides of my driveway. Football is over and I wouldn't miss the NBA if it went away. It will be a month before college basketball heats up. I am looking for the warm weather and some sunshine. I have had enough winter in the last two weeks to last me for a few years. Can someone tell the ground hog that his shadow will not hurt him. Not sure how he sees it when the sun isn't ever out anyway. Anyone want to pay to send me to Spring Training in Arizona or anywhere that is warm? Spring come quickly and relieve us from winter so I can cook meat outside and enjoy a hot dog at the ball park.
Friday Weigh In Week #7
Here are my results for this week.
Current Weight – 277 lbs.
Previous Weight – 274.8 lbs.
Total Gain – 2.2 lbs.
I had another gaining week. Can I blame it on Super Bowl snacks? Ok, so I am not discouraged and will continue to stay on top of it. I can see a lot of ways to improve, but it is no easy task. I think though little by little as long as I stick with it, things will get better and the weight will keep coming off. Sorry for the late post. I have been a little busy the past couple of days.
Something Beautiful
I am not always a very patient person. When it comes to something that I want in my life, I can be straight up impatient. They say that you should wait patiently, but I tend to wait impatiently and it can drive me crazy. My attitude toward the situation will in no way make something come faster, but my attitude can make the time pass better.
When I was in college, I was impatiently waiting and actively looking for the girl of my dreams so that I could fall in love, get married, and live happily ever after as the story goes. It took a lot longer than I wanted it to and I could have made some early decisions to get what I thought I wanted only to find myself in a mess. By allowing God to work it out in His perfect timing, things really worked out perfectly. But because of my impatience I had to deal with some pain before the good parts came.
I was reading Exodus 32 the other day and in the first couple of verses I learned that the reason the Israelites made the golden calf was because they were tired of waiting for Moses to come back down the mountain. I used think that the Israelites were weak for turning so quickly, but I knew the end of the story. I also see myself doing the exact same thing in my own life. Scripture smacked me in the face again. I often dream of the future and what is next in my life and that is fine until I start ignoring what I am supposed to be doing right now.
Do you spend too much time thinking about what is next in your life and how to get there instead of dealing with where God has you right now? Let me encourage you and myself at the same time by saying that God has tomorrow handled. Its okay to dream, but don’t forget about the present.
I also wanted to share the lyrics from a song called Something Beautiful by Need to Breathe because this song was encouraging to me.
Hey now, this is my desire
Consume me like a fire, ’cause I just want something beautiful
To touch me, I know that I’m in reach
‘Cause I am down on my knees.
I’m waiting for something beautiful
Oh, something beautiful