Sometimes I get angry.
Sometimes I want to give up.
Sometimes I want to take the easy way.
Sometimes I am not motivated.
Sometimes I don’t feel up to it.
Sometimes I don’t care.
All the time, God is there.
Sometimes I have days like this where everything feels a little meaningless. Its like I am just spinning my wheels and getting no traction. On days like that I have to try hard to remind myself why I do all that I do. I know that at times, I have to retreat but I also fear getting too comfortable. I know that I can’t go hard all of the time, but I struggle with the fear of what happens if I back off. Insecure? Sure. I know where to find my security, but some days are just harder than others.
Sometimes all of this happens to me in one day
true confession–there have been times when I have experienced the list all in a matter of five minutes! It is times like that when I am literally driven to my knees and reminded that I need a Savior. It is times like what you describe that I am reminded that it is not about me and that when nothing else is seeming to work–prayer does. I love the first part of Nehemiah when he plans and prays, or rather prays and plans. The two often go hand in hand. Do you ever wonder if the moments when we don't feel the "traction" are the moments when God is stepping in?
So true. My moments usually last until I go to sleep. I also notice that I usually find myself in those sometimes moments when I am onto something good. They seem to me to be an attack of sorts to distract me from where I am headed. I definitely find myself more dependent on God in those times and I spend a lot more time in constant prayer.