[Image from Rebecca]
The other day the kids and I were outside working on Faith’s future garden playing in the dirt and there was a big group of kids playing across the fence in the yard behind us. We see them out there from time to time, but this time KC decided to go talk to the girls through the fence. There were 2 girls a little older than KC running around the yard singing songs. Things started off pretty much how you would expect a conversation between 2 and 3 year olds to be. They asked a lot of questions about what’s your name, what’s his name, what are you doing….etc. I was just really glad someone else was having the conversation with my two year old instead of me.
The girls then invented a modified game of volleyball using a wiffel ball and the fence for a net. They through the ball over the fence and KC would throw it back. They eventually upgraded to a football and a wiffel ball so that the 2 girls on the other side of the fence would not have to fight over whose turn it was. This was all good and fine for a while until out of nowhere the 2 girls begin calling KC a “poopy head.”
KC has no clue that they were being mean to her. I walked back down towards KC in hopes that if I heard it again I would say something to the girls about it not being very nice and ask for an apology. The girls scattered and went about their singing because they knew they were being mean, but were not sure if I had caught them or what I would do. KC continued to talk to them still ignorant to their meanness.
I have been waiting for ‘poopy head’ to come up in conversation with KC, but it doesn’t seem to be something that stuck in her vocabulary. Eventually the girls decided it would be fun to throw a stick over the fence and it hit KC in the chest and she began to cry. I did get to tell the girls that it was not a nice thing to do especially since KC is in a cast and can’t really use her one arm. The girls said that they were sorry, but I don’t know how sincere it was because I don’t really know them. Also note that there were no adults paying any attention to the kids outside. The oldest kid outside was probably 6 or 7.
I just want to know at what age do kids start being mean like that. I know that this behavior is learned from parents, sibling, or other kids, but it just drives me crazy that my 2 year old already has to learn how to defend herself against mean people. If one of my kids called another kid a name like that, they would have to face the wrath. I try to teach my children to respect other people even if they are different. I feel lucky so far that Ephriam and KC seem to have a lot of compassion for others. KC is almost considered to be a junior helper at church because she likes to comfort the other kids when they cry. Ephriam just loves everybody and will make you his best friend in a heartbeat.
I am glad that my kids are learning how to be nice, but now I am going to have to teach them about mean people and how to love them even when they are mean. How do you explain to a 2 year old that you don’t have to like someone, but you should still love them?
That, my friend is one of the suckiest part of being a parent. I wish I could tell you it gets better, but it doesn't. On the bright side, if your kids are kind and compassionate, they will attract friends with the same qualities. My kids get frustrated because other kids are just jerks and they can't be because they know better. WWJD is much harder in reality than it is in theory.
Sorry CP. I wish I had an answer for you. I don't have children. I used to be a teacher, but then I was in charge of ALL the kids in my class, and could lean on the kids who were mean. I taught in a Catholic School, so I could openly tell them that they needed to treat everyone as if they were Jesus Himself. You don't have that option with other people's chldren. I am sure your children are and will continue to be a blessing to the children around them.
Tough one….my daughter is now 6 and tends to fend off the mean kids with her wit.
The other day when one of the mean kids in Kindergarten called her a "poopy head" she just simple looked at him and said "well, you are uneducated"….the kid freaked out because he did not know what it meant.
Trial and error and it can be tough.
Thanks for the comments everyone. I can hope that my kids will grow up with a good sense of who to pick in their friends. We have plenty of time to work on building up some thick skin to deal with all of the meanies.