This is my main man Ephriam. My first born and one of the joys of my life. He is one of the most loving kids I have ever met. I am biased of course. There isn’t an ounce of shyness in him and he will become you buddy in a heartbeat. What you won’t pick up from the picture is that he has a speech delay. He is 4 years old and speaks at the level of a 2 year old. We have him in private therapy and preschool to help him catch up with his speech and he is gaining a lot of ground, but there are days when I just wish that he could talk to me.
Today I was praying for him as I often do on my way to work when the Holy Spirit interrupted me. I was thinking about how I want to be able to communicate with Ephriam more than anything in the world. He is my son and I want him to be able to share his dreams, joys, fears, and pains with me. I want him to understand me so that I can help to guide him as he grows up. Then suddenly I realized that God wants the same thing from me.
God wants me to have a complete and open relationship with him. This is not exactly a new idea to me, but I never really thought about it from God’s side of the relationship. I can get so frustrated when Ephriam cannot tell me what his problem is. How frustrated does God get when I shut him out of my life? He wants to hear from me and I don’t always do a great job of that.
I take comfort in the fact that God knows my pain even when I don’t share it with him. I also know Ephriam’s pain even when he doesn’t know how to tell me about it. He is my son and I probably know him better than he knows himself. Just as I am not going to leave Ephriam to do life on his own, I know that God will never leave my side.
The parallels between my relationship with God and my relationship with my kids is really starting to become apparent to me. It is amazing how there is always something to learn from following Jesus no matter how long you have been at it.
What is God teaching you right now? Are you allowing yourself to be discipled?
I'm sorry to hear that about your son. My next door neighbor who is five I *think* has something similar (although his mother would never admit it). He also has therapy through our school system, seems to be doing much better and will be attending kindergarten next year. I hope you have the same success with your son.
I frequently mention that this year I work as a lunch aide in an elementary school. I'm learning patience and to be aware that not every child is like mine. I can make a difference is someone's life.
I love it! I think part of becoming a parent is FINALLY understanding God's love for us.
Your son is gorgeous…..and I agree with Heather about really understanding God's love when you have a child of your own. That, I would jump out in front of an eighteen-wheeler or cut my arm off for you kinda love.
The sad part is…..like you mentioned…..is that sometimes we don't always reciprocate it back to God when we get caught up in our own needs/desires. How foolish of us to attempt to do things "our" way when His way is the best and easiest way. But we serve such an awesome Father who's grace, love and forgiveness is never ending…..
I pray for breakthroughs with your son……
Peace~
*~Michelle~*